What are your RELATIONSHIPS based on?

Build relations that are valuable more than its weight worth in gold.

What makes the basic foundation of your relationships? Is it similar taste in movies, songs, books, or some hobby? Why do you have those relationships? Only because of common interests or common place of encounter? Or is it merely because of blood ties? Just out of societal conventions? Just out of formalities? Do these people add value to our life? And what I mean by value is a deep insight of knowing yourself and making them aware of themselves too. Not just going out every Friday night to dinner, having a fun time, cracking jokes, and talking about the new movie that's out. 

Do you have real exchanges about things that actually matter? Do you have that heart baring conversations about the complexities of life? Or is it some shallow talk about who is exclusive with whom or who just went on a fancy vacation and is posting all over social media or any third person who fills in the empty spaces of your interactions. 

Think Over This To Analyse Your Relationships

Just pick out a random friend and analyze on the quality of conversations you have with them. I’d be highly surprised if you would come up with the majority of your relationships with nothing other than the obvious I mentioned. 

Can you be your most vulnerable self and talk about all the things you are afraid of to someone? Without a second thought of the person, judging you or that hesitant feeling that all your repressed emotional turmoil are just going to some unknown void. The fear of baring your soul naked in front of someone and giving them the leverage to do as they please with your inner emotions either rip them apart and make you feel exposed or leave them unattended and isolated in an unsafe place. Even though still trusting them and if you are even more so credulous thinking that they will understand your pain and feel it with every inch of their human existence.

We have come to this time in human history that having several relationships or friends or rather followers according to the 'Gen Z' is of greater value than having good quality relationships. We now tend to leave relationships hanging and visiting them according to our convenience, not respecting the beautiful conversational dynamic that you had or could have had. 

Relationships Between Families

Relationships aren’t only degrading in the romantic or philia front, but even families are so distant. One can’t hear the pain or call for help of the other. Being too busy with external noises. That seem more relevant than nurturing relationships. People say the world has become closer with the upsurge of technology. I feel it has in every way lost the very human essence of bonding. 

Families now don’t care unless you are dead or when they have a festive message to forward in their contact list. Looking at the superficiality, I laugh. They send messages with no intent behind it, without meaning a single word, but expect you to send it to them. What are we even doing? Just sending messages? With no meaning? Who are we demeaning? Our words? Or relationships?

Funny when people text you a very heart-warming, blessing giving a message on your birthday making you feel so special but wait, where were they for the rest of the 364 days? Was I invisible? Maybe not, were they too busy on a nuclear world saving project? No, they didn’t care enough? Yes. Following texting out of courtesy because your calendar or Facebook says "Hey it’s so and so’s birthday do you want to wish them?" And you’re like "Yes, let’s do it nothing like I’m investing too much, anyway."

What Can Be Done To Cultivate Better Relationships?

Learn to build relationships in your own way there is no general rule. Maybe one person in a relationship would be completely satiated and the other may not. Try finding common ground where both parties feel a sense of growth in their own individual ways.

Open the contact list on your phone, open your chats, read them, and analyze. Do they add value? Do they make you better with every conversation, do they do more than just giving you a fun time? Examine, think, and converse better. 

Talk about things that matter to you and you’ll know the people who matter. We all want to be seen, heard, and known. We want to know that we matter, that we are respected, and loved. In conclusion, a healthy, yielding relationship answers not all but some of these great existential questions.