Becoming better not because of someone but through them

Becoming better not because of someone but through them

“What happens when people open their hearts?” 

“They get better.”

- Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

I find it baffling. Like a code, the more I try to crack it, the harder it gets. I always wonder and struggle to decipher what one person could do to another. The more I think about it, the more complex it becomes. Maybe it’s something I won’t ever understand. Maybe it’s for the best. But what I know is how someone could exponentially alter your life and do so without even realising.

How wonderful it seems to say, “I became better because of someone.” Yes, it’s a good thought. You become better because a certain someone’s presence compels you to strive to reach that higher mark, to turn into a better version of yourself. Inspiring you to push further than your limits. Becoming better because of someone lays more emphasis on the other person. Almost like they were the only reason you got better in the first place. You try to become better for that someone, trying to prove your value for their presence in your life. I don’t fancy that idea so much. These are good things, but there’s something more rare and inexplicable.

Becoming better through someone has a very slight difference if you look sharply. Here they act as a catalyst or a medium through whom you achieve the person you want to be. And knocking your socks off and transforming you in incomprehensible forms. Just like a train that goes through the tunnel and comes out to the bright light. Becoming better through someone is much more than about the two individuals. This a dynamic process, occurring because of the interactions between them. Neither one knows how they are molding the other in beautiful ways. You don’t grow for them to see you as a worthy somebody to be with. You become better for yourself, completely.

Events of this nature aren’t prearranged or mediated. You can’t coax someone into being your channel. It destroys the purpose. The people who experience this inadvertently and come out transformed are not only lucky, but become so for the rest of their lives.