Bullshit around Self Love

 Bullshit around Self Love

Self-love is not just having those 'me times' and pampering yourself with fancy food and vacations. Self-love in my definition is the tough love you show yourself, to make decisions you don’t want to but need to in order to keep that love lasting.

I heard this poem called by ‘Healing’ by Nayo Jones, and it delves into the theme of loving someone without loving yourself. You find almost everyone emphasizing on the fact that you need to love your own self before you go on loving somebody else. You need to have the ability to accept your flaws before you can accept someone else’s or they can yours. You can’t expect to have someone love you if you don’t feel so loving towards yourself.

I think that is just a bunch of bullshit. When I believed in this seemingly false theory, I wasn’t ever fully satisfied with the explanations I got, but I choose to go on because I did not know better. Then soon after it resulted that I was neither able to give the love I had to myself or others. It felt like a bit of a waste. Wasting my potential to love and care for someone, someone who wasn’t me. I think I would have been a lot miserable had I not chosen to extend the love out in the world in oppose to waiting for the day that I can start loving myself. Another person’s love can’t heal you, it can’t transform the way you think about yourself unless you do so. But love will stand by you even if you don’t end up becoming the person you wanted to. Loving someone else deeply and seeing their love for you might just want you to become better, not necessarily for them, but for the reason how someone could love a broken thing you might want to try Kintsugi.