Family - from someone with a broken home

Not all of us have healthy, loving families, 

not all of us feel that selfless love and devotion

 towards our birth givers, it shouldn’t be something you 

dwell upon thinking how 

ungrateful, unethical and inhumane your feelings are.

 I know we consider parents to be extremely crucial and someone who should be respected. However, some parents are not just worth it. For those who have a loving family, it must be a big deal. They haven’t seen the life of broken homes, it sucks.

A house differs from a home. 

Some of us don’t get the luxury of saying we feel happy at home when growing up. If you do, you never realize how lucky you are. Blood family, that is something we get dealt, I think in terms of the parents I got, maybe I got a bad hand or bad karma who knows? And I had a family that was complicated with some eccentric members. So there was a lot of grist there. Not much way around it, you just have to grow up and get more family. The kind you get to pick out yourself. 

Things look pretty good on the outside when you don’t have parents who are divorced or when you have a good house with every materialistic need fulfilled. The reality is a bad family is worse than no family. When you have your own people trying to tear you down apart, it’s so suffocating you can’t breathe. They don’t understand is that if you do not have that basic or physiological need of feeling loved and cared for fulfilled, none of these needs matter and I could never confide in my parents or never invest emotionally. It’s so weird for me to think that people talk to their parents for emotional support or to think that people’s parents taught them to indulge in emotions.

Something that parents should realize that your kid shouldn’t be relieved to know you are not at home. Your kid shouldn’t think “here comes the screaming” or brace themselves for the worst. Your kid shouldn’t feel more comfortable, safe, and at peace being outdoors than being home with you. Parents are meant to be there for you to take care of you, love you and comfort you and provide peace. 

Not to emotionally, physically and mentally scar you. I have a dysfunctional family and I swear we are missing out a lot in life. You often wonder what life is, why are you here pretty much everything is bland and you really don’t understand how is that people build trust and attachment and how to cultivate love. You are so different from the rest, and sometimes there is just sadness when you see a functional family. If you regret the day you were born it actually speaks for itself, really.

Way too many parents have kids just so they can have someone around to look after them when they’re old. There should be a test you have to take and pass on to have a child. I mean how can you let a bunch of self loathing, eccentric people drowning in self pity and searching for validation get to ruin a child’s life. 

That should be illegal. I feel I’m scarred for life I feel I don’t deserve love maybe because we learn to love from our parents and when that very foundation isn’t strong enough we question the very basics of the concept of love and attachment. I am not equipped enough to give it out in the world, there is too much learning to do before. 

Family bonds are only blood, blood means you are related, it doesn’t mean you’re family; they are still people and we aren’t programmed to love all blood relations, I’m not close to my own and never know if I’ll ever trust them completely. Genes, I have learnt, do not make a family. Ever since I was little, I always wanted this “to have a happy family” that’s really all my little childhood wanted.