Why do we crave VALIDATION?

Validation literally meaning approving something’s accuracy. That something has become us. We have come on this realization that being by our self is being alone that we don’t have any value of our own unless someone else validates us or puts a price on our existence either by being beside us, saying a simple hi or having a full-blown conversation. We have given so much power to the external world to determine our very own subsistence. We crave for others' approval in such minute ways we don’t realize how our mood is constantly affected by others' behavior towards us. 

We yearn and long for others' appreciation, admiration, and acceptance. From getting that one like, one comment, one reply to our text. These trivial things don’t seem to affect us on the surface but manifest a series of unstoppable self loathing reactions in our head, leaving an indelible imprint that deliberately murders our self love and crushes the very iota of existence that is striving to persist in this “I want them to like me” world. Here where originality is crumpled, shattered and squashed, where we change huge facets about ourselves for that little acknowledgement from people. People who are not us, people who are transitory, people who probably aren’t affected even if you die but would show up to shed a few customary tears. 

We are human. We are social animals. We need to live with and around people, talk, communicate in order to remain sane and any isolation from the herd will be undeniably detrimental to our wellbeing.  This has led us to be completely hinged at the fact that at the other end of the spectrum where we are in this sticky closed vault chained to people for making us feel alive and worthy of breathing on this planet. Why give someone the power to dictate your state of mind? Why give someone the ability to make you feel anything other than good ? 

It’s good to be selfish if you don’t hurt anyone. It’s alright to want a little extra for yourself. It’s alright to feel happy and warm and to know that you are needed and valued and that your existence is of great significance. And all answers need to come from YOU first. You need to put yourself on the table and put a valuation on yourself, a one that is not conveniently shaken by a few jolts by people’s indifferent opinions. 

You need to know your value before letting others try to guess and make vague assumptions. You need to validate yourself, your very own existence. You are your happiness and your sadness, your own lover and enemy, your source of validation, your safe place to go to, your best friend, your secret keeper, your everything. You are your everything.